The Nameless Knit Blog

Halfway through!

I am officially half-way through my Head Huggers hood/scarf.  We've managed to come to terms.  I may even knit myself one, in a nice wool...  some day.

But for now, my thoughts are turning to what's next.

What's next?

It's a toss-up.

I've wanted to do Eris since...  oh, I don't know...  it came out!  I've got some loverly Elsepeth Lavold Silky Wool Tweed in a really flattering brown that would be perfect for it.  But yeah.  Complicated?  Also, long?

I'm also tempted by the Lady Eleanor Entrelac Stole.  I don't know what possible need I could have for a stole.  I've also never done entrelac.  But I've been seeing some done in Noro Silk Garden.  And I have 18 skeins of the stuff staring me in the face every time I go into my stash.  It was originally going to be a sweater.  But I am over stripey sweaters.

So what to do?

What...  to...  do...

Wherein bad language is used muchly

So you're knitting along, as one does.  And all of a sudden, you're left with nothing in your hands.  The yarn just ends.  And worst of all?  It's...  No, soggy isn't the right word.  This yarn is soppin' wet*.  We are talking wring it out and it will drip wet.

Why?

Because you have a saboteur sapping your progress from below.

A fiendish, fuzzy, four-footed saboteur.

Goes by the name of Bertie.

Here he is behind bars, where he belongs.

Ate my yarn.

Yup.

Also, fuck this pattern.  Seriously.  Eight-row repeat.  Four very similar rows.  Four other very similar rows.  In a pattern that is almost, but not quite random.  I don't know where the hell I am in the pattern, unless I keep very, very good notes.  I'm not so good with the note taking.  Especially when there are less than 50 stitches in a row.  That's a lot of putting down the knitting, picking up the pen, putting down the pen, picking up the knitting again.  And stitch counters?  Don't get me started.  Way too easy to forget.  So I say again.  Fuck this pattern.  Fuck this fucking pattern.  It is beating me.  I'm sick of ripping.  I'm sick of picking up.  I'm sick of repeating.

I want it over.

Also, I need egg rolls and jelly donuts.  Now.

*  I once did a trial about wet roofing insulation.  Try to contain your excitement.  The plaintiff's attorney was a little man with a big voice.  He described the insulation as "soppin' wet" in tones of such enthusiastic southern vim and vigor that forevermore, when something is wet that shouldn't be, I will hear his voice in my head.  "Soppin wet!"

I finished something!!!

With the help of a weekend off and a Buffy film-fest, I actually managed to finish my first pair of Jaywalkers!  And here they are!

Aren't they beauts?

But confession time?  Two mistakes on the second one.  You perfectionists out there, just look away now, because I didn't fix them.

The first was a little hole when I picked up stitches for the ankle gusset.  Where does it come from?  Where?  And why not every time?  I did them both the exact same way, and yet the first one?  No hole!  Gah! 

The other one was definitely my mistake, though.  I forgot that you decrease all the way down to 18 stitches on the sole, instead of leaving it at 21, and went for a couple of inches at 21, until I started to wonder why they weren't doing the cool color-pooling tie-dyed effect the other ones did in the foot, which I kind of like, by the way.  And I know I should have ripped back those couple of inches.  Frankly, the ripping and re-doing, I don't mind so much.  But the picking up tiny little stitches with tiny sharp little needles?  Yeah.  No.  They're bloody socks!  For me!  I can live with it!

I will, however, try to do better on my Painted Ladies.  I've highlighted the pertinent passages in the pattern and everything.

But first, I have a scarfy-hoody thing (Head Hugger to its friends) to finish up for my grandma.  The pattern is great, but it's an insipid lavender and a wool/acrylic blend.  It makes me think of mental hospitals.  But Grandma will love it, and she's the only grandma I've got, so I keep plugging away.

Now I just have to decide what to do next...

Sadness

I just bound off on Tubey and tried it on.

Well, it could be a little more unflattering...  if it had egg on, I suppose.

I think a good frogging is in order.

I need to make the shoulder part narrower so it doesn't ruck up in the back and give me more bulgy bits than I already have.

I need to rib the sleeves.  I really need to lose the stripes on the sleeves.  I need to lose the bell shape, even though that was originally one of my favorite bits of the pattern.

Instead of hideously unflattering stripes that seem to stagger drunkenly over said body bulges, I'm going to go for blocks of my favorite colors.

I need to take some measurements.  I need to measure from armpit to armpit, and I need to measure from the bump in my spine at the base of my neck to the place on my spine that intersects the imaginary line between my armpits to get the proper measurements I need.

So I need to frog.  An entire sweater.  Made up of short lengths of different colored yarns.  And then knit an entire sweater back from it.

Oh well, I must look at the bright side.  At least I don't have to weave in the ends yet!

Fricken' Tubey update

"Oh," I said.  "It's a sweater made from two tubes," I said.  "Who needs to worry about gauge?" I said.

Apparently, I needed to worry about gauge.

"Oh, crud!" I said.

I was nearing the bottom, and I was dying to know how it would fit.  So I slipped it to string and slipped it over my head. 

And that's where the trouble begins.

Somehow that back bit between the sleeves is too big, so it kind of wrinkles up in the back.  And it makes the front too short, so it hikes up in the front.

Of course, I can't entirely blame it on my gauge.  My breasts are also to blame.  I am, shall we say, well endowed.  They require more sweater than this pattern has to give.

But fear not, dear reader!

I have a plan!

I shall make this sweater extra long.  My bum is also well endowed, and will hopefully make up the difference.

Um...

Yay?

Cats, the rats!

Dear Cats,

Could your loving owner just ask (without any hint of disapprobation) why, less than 24 hours after she worked her knuckles to the bone cleaning the kitchen, from dusting the light fixtures to scrubbing that little pan under the refrigerator and everything in between, it was necessary to scoop every last speck of soil from that plant and track the dirt all around the kitchen, including the fecking draining board?

I was just curious.

I know, I know, you didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition...

(short scuffle involving British comedians in silly pants ensues)

... but while we're on the subject, my darlings, why do you like to stick your head through the handle of a plastic shopping bag and fall asleep that way?  The ASPCA would have a fit if they knew.  They'd never believe me if I told them the creative hiding places I've come up with over the years, and the lengths you will go to get your paws on those bags.

All I'm saying is if I'm in prison, who's going to buy the Greenies.

Just a thought.

Sincerely,

YLO

p.s.  If you need me, I will be knitting.  I will not care.  You may forage for yourselves.  You know where I hide the Greenies.

p.p.s.  Ye Gods and Goddesses, you even got soil on the window panes!  Why?  And more importantly, how?!!!?

Loopy!

Today, I have edited 173 pages of dull-as-dishwater transcript, cleaned my kitchen and practiced the wretched realtime on my steno machine.

I have not, however, knit so much as a single stitch.

This knit blogging thing is going to be harder than I thought.  I can type awfully fast, even on a qwerty keyboard.  I can babble with the best of them.  It ought to just be a matter of putting fingers to keys and letting her rip.

But that only seems to work if you've got content.

In the last few days, I've managed a few rows of Tubey, and that is it.

Actually, though, that may be one of the perks of this monogamous knitting.  I'm supposed to be knitting Tubey, but my thoughts are with that lace shawl...  Frankly, I can't be arsed.  I might as well clean the kitchen.

See how that works?  Perhaps the answer to obsession is to go deeper into your obsession.  Not just I must knit, but I must knit one thing only until it is completed.  Eh?  Eh?

Except that I'm taking a sock to bed with me tonight so I can get at least a little loop action before I sleep!

Sirius Knitting

I spent a really nice day at my parents' house, knitting and abusing their hospitality by insisting on listening to Sirius Satellite Radio on their DirecTV or Dish Network or whatever they've got these days.

I used to poo-poo satellite radio.  "I've got an iPod!" I said.  "Why would I pay for radio?"  But eventually, no matter how obsessed you are with those pretty Japanese rock boys, you realize you aren't hearing much new when you're exclusive with your iPod.

And then (horror of horrors) my favorite alternative type radio station changed its format and started playing a lot of music I don't like at all.  And to make matters worse, they hired these two DJs, wannabe shock jocks, who routinely get fired from whatever station they work for because they say some dumbass thing or another.  And people keep hiring them back!  I just don't understand it.  They've been annoying me since I was in junior high school!

So it's time to find something else.

What's that?

Oh, where's the knitting, you say?

That's right, this is supposed to be a knitting blog; isn't it?

Oh, all right.

This is what I've been working on this weekend.  It's Tubey from the latest edition of Knitty.

Hmm.  These colors look rather dull in this shot.  I'll have to try for a natural light picture tomorrow.

Some thoughts on the pattern:

I think if I make this sweater again, and don't use a solid color, I'll start ribbing the sleeves when I make the join to knit them in the round.  The ribbing on the body does serve to hide the awkward joins where I change color.  Hopefully once I tighten up the joins and weave in the ends, they'll look a bit better.

I don't want to talk about those increases in the sleeves.  I should have knit at least one more row in the main color before making the increases to bell the sleeves.  As it is, some of the main color is bleeding into a contrast color row, and makes it look messy.  Oh well, live and learn.

Also, I don't think I'd bell the sleeves again at all.  It just doesn't work for me in such a chunky sweater.  I think instead I'd keep them tight and fitted past the wrist and over some of the hand.

I love the yarn I'm using for this sweater.  It's so incredibly warm that I doubt I'll ever get to wear it in this Missouri climate!!!  It's Jo Sharp Silkroad Aran, which I think is a lot like the Debbie Bliss Cashmerino, only with silk instead of the nasty microfiber.  The only trouble is it's quite fluffy, with a fairly loose twist, and the slightest uneveness in your knitting really shows. 

I'm thinking a good, firm blocking is definitely in order for this baby!

Goat Rustlin’ and Sheep Stealin’

On my drive home yesterday, I saw a goat that could have been mine for the taking. He’d escaped his fence (as I’m given to understand goats do) and was hitching a ride next to the road.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t a terribly attractive specimen of goathood. This was no pampered angora fashion model goat. This was species goatus of the genus goatus. And. And. And he was standing on three legs, exposing his belly and dangly goat bits to the world while he scratched himself with his hoof. And all I can say is any lady goats in the neighborhood had better watch out.

I passed on.

Oh, but then.

Then there were the wee little lambs. Tiny, fluffy, huggable black and white darlings. Just the right size for scooping up and tossing in back of my car.

And they were frolicking!

The trollops!*

Alas, they were not weaned. And I know how much work and how little sleep is involved in bringin’ up babies. In my rash youth, I have raised a goodish many baby birds and suchlike. Now that I must work for my yarn, I am not prepared to make that commitment. Nor am I prepared to sling a fully grown, nursing mama sheep over my shoulders like the shepherds of old and bodily carry her off.

Well, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. I suspect knitting with a bad back would be torture! (Notice I don’t say I wouldn’t be able to knit with a bad back!)

Also, I was driving my mother’s car, and I don’t think she’d appreciate the sheep poo in her upholstery.

* 10th Kingdom reference. I am not a pervert.

Jaywalker

I'm thinking about joining the Jaywalker knitalong.

I've been thinking about it so long I've finished one sock and started two more.

No, I'm not some strange, three-footed freak.  (Thank goodness!  And we thought second sock syndrome was a nightmare!)

I originally started these Jaywalkers in Lorna's Laces' Baltic Sea colorway.

Yes, my feet are huge.

Moving along.

But then, I got my first skein of Socks that Rock.  And Baltic Sea got unceremoniously dumped onto a 32" circ, and pride of place on my dpn's went to Ruby Slippers.  I'm trying to work them with the picot edging as done here and here by better knitters than I.

But I don't really like the name of this colorway.  When I ordered it, I expected something more...  I don't know.  Red?

So I'm renaming these socks.  These are my "Painted Lady Socks."  Because the pattern reminds me of corsets on Victorian chorus girls, and the colors remind me of Victorian houses.

But yes, I am planning on tapping my heels together to see what happens.  Because I do believe in spooks.  I do believe in fairies. And I do believe in Oz!