Dear Cats,
Could your loving owner just ask (without any hint of disapprobation) why, less than 24 hours after she worked her knuckles to the bone cleaning the kitchen, from dusting the light fixtures to scrubbing that little pan under the refrigerator and everything in between, it was necessary to scoop every last speck of soil from that plant and track the dirt all around the kitchen, including the fecking draining board?
I was just curious.
I know, I know, you didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition...
(short scuffle involving British comedians in silly pants ensues)
... but while we're on the subject, my darlings, why do you like to stick your head through the handle of a plastic shopping bag and fall asleep that way? The ASPCA would have a fit if they knew. They'd never believe me if I told them the creative hiding places I've come up with over the years, and the lengths you will go to get your paws on those bags.
All I'm saying is if I'm in prison, who's going to buy the Greenies.
Just a thought.
Sincerely,
YLO
p.s. If you need me, I will be knitting. I will not care. You may forage for yourselves. You know where I hide the Greenies.
p.p.s. Ye Gods and Goddesses, you even got soil on the window panes! Why? And more importantly, how?!!!?
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